Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
