Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
