you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
