Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
We're too hungover to prance.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
