that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize