Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
