watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
