What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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