I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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