True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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