I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
