sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
