I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
so let's talk penis.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
