is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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