can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
