I wish I could teleport
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
