Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
