Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
