Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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