I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
