Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
