This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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