im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize