Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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