I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
are you so shy because you have an std?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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