When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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