hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
