Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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