remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
