I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
