You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize