Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
