its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
