we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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