Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Who did Billy Mays play for?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Please don't give away my fajitas
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