Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize