We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
