We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
