no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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