so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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