just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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