all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
