It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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