omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
