i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
