I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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