So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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