I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
