Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I just want to make out with him forever
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize
