That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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