Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
