remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
