I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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