I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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