what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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