Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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