I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
