Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
barbara walters just said penis...
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
