I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
