I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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