Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
