This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Is Oprah even human
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
