By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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